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Review Goat Simulator
Feed your inner goat
Author: Tariq Abdulla
Date: 16 Jun 2017, tested on HTC One S
Quality sound, unusual game play, interesting physics
Goat Simulator for Android is a very silly game in which you trot a goat around a large, interesting map and cause general mayhem. The game is full of "glitches", but the glitches are supposed to be part of the appeal. Goat Simulator has erratic unpredictable behaviour, similar in spirit to the personality of a goat. At one moment ramming hard into things and bashing around, at the next rolling on the floor uncontrollably.
There's a lot that you can mess around with in this game. It's crazy-bad-physics goat heaven. There are trampolines, and you can stay bouncing on them to reach dizzying heights. There's a swimming pool with a crazy long water slide that can send you flying. There's an impossibly tall crane to climb to the top of. Step onto the electric treadmill if you dare - it sends you flailing instantly backwards. Ram into gas pumps to make them explode. Head butt a train track lever to derail a train. Lick people to make them stick to you and drag them behind you for miles with your long elastic tongue.
When you get bored of being a goat, you can also switch to a penguin, or be a goat with a massive rocket jet pack. There are also hidden ways to unlock being a whale, a demon goat, and doubtless lots of other hidden content too.
The controls are all right, with clear buttons for different actions, even though the game becomes uncontrollable sometimes. The graphics are good, if we accept that it's a crazy world where weird stuff happens. The thing, although there's quite a lot to do and explore in the game, it actually gets boring quite quickly because of the pointlessness of it all. There's no real motivation to keep racking up points and unlocking new content. For the price tag, I would expect a little more structure to make it more rewarding. It doesn't seem worth it for about an hour of fruitless goating around.