Review Fail Hard
If epic stupidity is your game...
Author: Jay Feldman
Date: 26 Jul 2014, tested on ASUS Nexus 7 (2013)
Funny sounds, decent game play, interesting physics
Lags a bit, slow animation, difficult to play without in-app purchases
Fail Hard for Android is essentially the Jackass TV show in game format. Do dumb stunts and laugh when the dude toasts.
Fail Hard is moderately entertaining, but gets old fast. You are a twenty something party dude out with the guys and left your common sense behind about 12 beers ago. The game takes place in suburbia, where all the spoiled kids live; bored with everything and looking for something to do. So they setup an obstacle course and your objective is to try and complete the ridiculous stunts without loosing too much brain matter when your noggin invariably smacks pavement. The whole point of this game is to bite it good; oh, and maybe …almost …complete the dumb stunt.
The graphics are appropriately comical, but the animation is needlessly sluggish, which may have been an honest design choice, since you can see the wipeouts better if the game always plays in partial slow motion. However, it also makes it feel like the game is seriously hampered; which it is, because the developers subscribe to the mobile gaming mentality of hampering play in order to force upgrades, just to make the game play as it should have the first time around.
The controls are decent, but given the sluggish performance built into the game by design, it’s difficult to say this game plays well. And then there’s the annoyance factor of this crowd of dorks laughing whenever this guy wipes out bad enough to make him brain dead.
Yes, this is just a game, but it points to an eroding YouTube mentality that seems to take great pleasure in other’s pain and misfortune. Last month, there was a real life shark attack in the Santa Monica bay. A guy was swimming, and a great white shark attacked him. Naturally, the guy was screaming for his life as this shark literally took bites out of him. The entire incident was filmed by a group of kids, who were laughing raucously at this guy as he struggled for his life. I assume their intention was to post the video to YouTube, because it was all so hilarious to them, that they just had to share. So why was their first instinct to reach for a video camera, and not to jump in and save the guy’s life? Why were they all laughing so hard as this guy spilled real blood amidst this shark attack? I’m not sure what the answers to those questions are, but games like this are part of the problem because they support the idea that senseless pain is funny.
Fail Hard lives up to its name, because it’s an epic fail. I question the sanity of anyone who finds crap like this funny. And I’m not impressed with developers who manipulate quality of play in favor of a beggars hand that promises to make the game function better, if only you give them all your lunch money. Thanks, but I’ll pass.